foster families - Fostering Advocates Arizona

The Importance of Sibling Bonds

September 20, 2018 by FAAZ Blog Leave a Comment

Children in the foster care system often feel isolated and have a loss of identity. They may feel scared, angry, guilty, or confused. We often turn to our siblings, who have a shared experience, to work through these feelings. It’s critical the system and the community do everything possible to ensure siblings are placed together if removed from their home.

After entering the foster care system, my eight siblings and I leaned on each a lot for support. The judge handling our case pushed for permanency for all of us, with the goal of getting us out of group homes and into a foster family. At first, the foster family was only interested in my older sisters but soon changed their mind when they were told about all of us. They took in the oldest girls but had to wait until my younger siblings were old enough to be in accordance with the families licensing agreement. While I eventually ended up being separated from some of my siblings while in care, I was grateful that at least at one point we were all together.

While in foster care, I also had a younger brother who was eventually adopted. While this was very hard for me at first, but I eventually, I found comfort knowing he would be happier and healthier with loving parents.

It is important for foster families to take in sibling groups as a priority. If that is not possible visitation amongst siblings should be guaranteed and supported by all placement types. When siblings must be separated, placement proximity should be considered. There should be as little distance as possible between homes to ensure ease of visitation. Foster parents should always work with other placements to develop a visitation schedule for siblings. This may involve speaking with caseworkers and advocating for the youth.

It is also important to be empathetic to the young people in your care. While you may not truly understand the situation, the youth is going through, understanding they are processing a lot of emotions and need to feel welcome and part of the family. The loss of parents and siblings can make youth feel very isolated, especially if the foster family has biological children. I recommend taking simple actions like acknowledging when the children in your care have done something positive and showing appreciation for help around the house. Simple acts of kindness like taking us to a movie or having a board game night can go a long way! We just want to feel like a part of the family as much as possible.

-Ashley, FAAZ YALB member

Supporting the Transition to Adulthood

September 17, 2018 by FAAZ Blog Leave a Comment

As most children approach age 18, they are excited about new independence and freedoms. For youth in foster care, their 18^th birthday is often a time when the services they relied on the most to survive, come to an end. For many, they lose their support system and find themselves on their own without any connections. With the correct guidance, resources, and connections, this time could be easier for youth in foster care. As a foster parent, you can help ease this transition.

I entered foster care at age 15. Like most older youth, I was first placed in a group home. Fortunately, I was moved to a foster family took after a few months and I stayed with them until was ready to transition. The group home was a difficult place for me to succeed. Due to limited staffing and the desires of the other girls, I often didn’t have time to work on my homework. I also didn’t have access to a computer which made completing many of my assignments quite challenging. This changed when I was placed with a foster family, and later gain admittance to Arizona State University. I was still 17 at the time, and my DCS caseworker was worried about me living in the dorms on my own. With help from my foster parents, I was able to get a judge to sign off on me going straight to ASU and living independently. I also decided to do extended voluntary care and joined the DCS’s Independent Living Program. where I found even more support and resources.

My story is not the norm. Most youth in foster care will not go to college. Many will end up young parents, and many others will end up homeless. I was fortunate enough to have the determination and guidance to succeed. Foster families can help provide this same guidance to the youth they care for.

The first step foster families can take is to care for older youth. Older youth are more likely to be placed in a group care setting vs. family setting. As my story demonstrates, this can be a key factor in a youth succeeding. For me, the group home interfered with my ability to study. Group home restrictions can make it difficult for youth to find jobs and succeed in other areas. Youth may also not receive the individualized guidance they would receive in a family setting.

Foster families should also be informed about the services and resources offered to young adults who have experienced care. The Independent Living Program is one example. Other resources include YATI, tuition waivers, education and training vouchers (ETV), financial literacy training and support through Opportunity Passport™, and more.

Lastly, foster families should recognize, that like a traditional family, the needs of a child do not end at 18. Foster families can continue to stay in contact and offer guidance to youth who have been in their care. My foster family keeps in touch and has invited me to come back for the holidays. While it can still be scary starting out on your own at 18, these simple gestures can help all the difference.

-Nikki, FAAZ YALB member

Keeping Youth Connected

September 7, 2018 by FAAZ Blog Leave a Comment

Young people in foster care face a lot of educational challenges, including moving schools frequently, losing connections with close friends, and disruptions in academic plans. Foster families, however, can make this transition easier by listening to youth and helping them maintain connections during this time.

I entered the foster care system at age of ten. I experienced several placements, including group homes, foster homes, as well as some kinship placements. While I was able to stay at the same middle school, once I entered high school, I began moving schools once every few months. From freshman to sophomore year I was forced to switch school seven different times. This made it hard to make new friends, as I knew my time at a school would always be temporary. I didn’t get along with my teachers and never felt like I was living up to my full potential. The most difficult part was the lack of communication I had with anyone regarding these frequent changes. One foster parent showed concern for me during this time. She worked hard to make sure I could go out with friends and have normal experiences.

I stayed connected to my best friend from middle even during this time. Although there were challenges, being able to call or visit him was really important to me. I remember when I could visit him, I would look out the window of the group home van and see him with the biggest smile on his face, happy that I could visit. It was much different than when we saw each other every day in middle school, but it was exciting and meaningful when we were able to visit. It was this friendship that allowed me to eventually find permanency, as my friend’s mother adopted me into their family. It was through the support of my other placements that I was able to maintain this relationship.

All young people deserve permanent connections. Friendships serve as important long-term relationships. To help assist youth with these relationships, foster families must communicate with youth in their care. Ask us who is important in our lives and help us stay in contact with them, whether it is through in-person visits or phone calls. Ask us what school we go to and if we would like to stay there. Advocate for our best interest; to make it possible help us advocate for ourselves and work with our case specialist to find the best solutions. Our case plan is not set in stone. You are functioning as a parent, and just like a biological parent, you can and should speak up for the wants and needs of the youth in your care for.

-Maria, FAAZ YALB member

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